My KEY to success???

Two of my sources of income, for the next six months are up in the air. I can go on believing that it will all work out, but reality is, I need to KNOW that my mortgage will be paid... etc.
I try not to think of myself as a control freak (try is emphasized here). It is very difficult for anyone to find out that what they thought was their plan... could disintegrate right before your very eyes! I really don't need that stress right now.

I can be that fluffy white cloud dreamer, but you can't pretend that it's not raining, when you are drenched...

Instead of hoping and believing for the best I decided to go on this Interview that ANOTHER bank was recruiting me for!! Ha, I know you're all rolling your eyes thinking, "What?! I thought she just went off on a tangent about not being stuck in banking!" I know, I know! I felt like I was betraying myself just by telling them that I'd come to meet with them. I didn't even know for what position!

I'll tell you why I did it though.
This bank actually has a phenomenal reputation in the banking and entrepreneurial industry, very unique, very simplistic. I have honestly NEVER heard anything negative about them (kind of odd for a bank) They are not aggressive. They seem to be the "silent, but deadly" type.

I was still skeptical... NO, I'm going after MY passions now. I talked to a couple friends Saturday night when I was out for a Birthday party. The couple was very supportive of what I was doing. One of them is a bank manager for Bank of America and the other a chick who has worked her way up the corporate ladder and travels around the west coast doing presentations and speaking for large audiences. They loved my passion. Then I mentioned that this other bank was trying to recruit me and the other bank manager just gave me this look. The "that is a really good bank, are you sure you want to pass them up?" look.

No! Don't do this to me "C"! He encouraged that I might be able to do both at the same time. I didn't really see it that way. I started getting worried that I'd go on this interview, get offered a good amount of money and give in, because I am currently worried about my two other sources of income.

I went on the interview. Amazing! They talked about all the things I really was passionate about. Community involvement, relationships, culture. The woman interviewing me came from the same company I just left. She understood! I don't want to be tied to my branch. I want to be involved in the community. I love coaching people, but I'm a net worker at heart. The management position they want me for is 50-70% networking. She told me some really personal stories on how they take care of their employees. Things that made me get warm fuzzy's.

I was still skeptical, I've heard some of this feel good crap from corporations before. I started asking for examples, ways they promote and measure these objectives. They actually had them. Management reviews were a qualitative approach, they actually measure my review for a large part based on how involved in the community I am, and the community's response to me. Of course there are some numbers in play, but they look at the other part first. I want accountability here guys, and I find it hard to believe that they would flat out lie.

It would be nice to have my benefits while I'm trying to get my start-up off the ground.

They already have a great location in mind for me... They confirmed my minimum offer for the job (which sounds like I may get)

I called my brother... what do I do?? I don't want to give in!
"B" made some great points- I am young, I am just starting out... I can create my business development for the bank surrounding the art fields that I need to build contacts with. I will have a flexible schedule. I can use volunteering in Gwendolyn's preschool (once she gets to that age) as my volunteer time through the company (which is required by ALL management!).

I already told this company that I am starting this up, and they loved it! It's not a conflict of interest by any means, and as my brother pointed out, I may be able to create banking relationships for this bank through the work I'm doing on my start-up.

After the last week, I've realized that I only want to start with bands and musicians, but I want to expand to all arts in Portland. I may even classify it later as an Non-profit agency.

I am still excited. I am also excited about the idea of a steady income and benefits. What was I going to do about that? (I put my blinders on for a few weeks, trying not to think about anything else) Am I a sell out? One part I was really bummed about was any time taken from Gwendolyn, I got excited over the idea of being at home with her more. Even the last two weeks proved that my work load was still similar to the other bank and I was still going to need help with her during the day.

So maybe I'm selling myself the idea? (Am good at convincing people of ideas.. including myself).
I just have to believe that my positive energy is only going to bring good, and what is right for me.

Well I have a ton to work on, Enough of this blogging. I am still working on my business plan and tweaking it. I'll probably post it on here for suggestions.

Thanks for reading.